The dating game has evolved immensely in the last 10 years. Gone are the days where your first attempt at courting a prospective new love or lusty fling is at the bar over a few shared slurred words. Because of this, the fear of rejection has almost been fully mitigated by the pre-vetting capabilities of the dating apps now used by most available singles.
From my perspective, this new technology limits the opportunity for the prospective ‘puncher’ in the relationship - the guy or girl who is batting well out of their crease. Winding the clock back 20 years or so, there was no other choice other than to find the courage (liquid or otherwise) to convince a person that it is worth their time getting to know you. A relationship could then be formed beyond a first glance and a swipe
We all know that the ‘puncher’ generally has work to do and ultimately has to face the likelihood of the initial rejection. However, a good underdog never backs down from a challenge, and the pursuit becomes inevitable. Current ‘daters’ only need to look as far as their parents’ generation to see the result of this – some are likely the product of one of these pursuits.
With that being said, the fear of rejection is now all too common in all aspects of life. The softening of the blows, and the limited experience in overcoming obstacles to achieve the ideal outcome has led to a general shift towards avoidance – being afraid of a ‘No’.
However, ‘No’ is not all bad- it can be rephrased to ‘not yet’ in most instances, and this can be applied to one of the most important relationships you’ll ever have – the one with your bank.
When applying for a loan with your prospective banking partner, a ‘No’ generally means an application has not been presented in a satisfactory manner with the appropriate supporting evidence. This is not to say that an application can always be presented and approved by a bank (or other lender), but an application should be well vetted before it is pushed through a credit assessment.
In this instance, think of your broker as your best friend who gives you the support and encouragement (and pays for the drink that helps you along the way) to step up to the bar and approach the possible next ‘banking partner.’
A good broker will turn any ‘No’ into a ‘here’s what we can do’ or even a ‘Yes’ depending on your specific situation. All prospective borrowers can then be encouraged to seek valuable ‘relationship advice’ from their broker about the possible steps towards a ‘Yes’.
It’s hard to gauge exactly how many prospective borrowers do not even approach their banks or a broker because they are afraid to hear the outcome, but my bet is that the number is significant. The presence of property in the New Zealand media certainly doesn’t help. Every day, prospective borrowers are told by the headlines the reasons why they cannot afford a home loan in today’s market. If it’s not rising house prices, it’s rising interest rates, and unfortunately, you are unlikely to get perfect market conditions or the best of both worlds any time soon.
For those not aware, it costs you nothing to engage with a broker to seek ‘relationship advice’ (we get paid by the bank in most cases and we’ll always let you know if we don’t) and there is certainly a reason that the broker market in NZ is growing with the number of deals brought to the banks increasing year on year. This article from February 2020 details some of the ways mortgage brokers can help, and compares the NZ market, which is estimated to be 40% broker driven, to Australia’s, where approximately 60% of home loans are being brokered.
As a ‘relationship advisor’ myself, I feel it is my role to fuel the mentality shift and encourage prospective borrowers to take the first step toward the pursuit of the ‘Yes’. There is a ‘Yes’ out there for everyone. For most, it is a case of ‘when’, and not ‘if’ you can afford the loan that is going to help you take the next step toward your financial goals.
So, if you’re worried about spending too much or have already assumed there’s no chance of getting on the ladder, reach out for some advice. The worst that will happen is a nudge in the right direction, and all of a sudden, the thought of rejection and a daunting ‘No’ becomes redundant, as you confidently pursue your new banking relationship.
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